A mind set in its ways is wasted – Eric Schmidt
How much do you see your views as ‘true’ or ‘the right way’ to see things and how much are you open to or even seeking new information that might broaden your views or give you understanding about views different to yours?
This last year has highlighted the dangers of being set in our ways, the divisiveness that comes when we see another’s views as stupid or ignorant and our views as superior and ‘right.’ Social media is notorious for promoting these types of reactive, attacking monologues, masquerading as dialogues, but they happen everywhere.
When we enter into conversations with a fixed idea and intention of convincing another of the ‘errors of their ways’ and the wisdom of our own, we will almost certainly end up in conflict and both sides become even more entrenched in their views and see the other as ‘the enemy’ or at the very least, ‘the unenlightened.’
Entering into dialogue with people who hold different views, requires being curious and asking questions. And remember, seeking to understand another’s perspective/experience is not the same as agreeing with them; instead it is an essential ingredient, for all involved, in order to build connection, heal wounds, soothe divisiveness, and to truly embrace and celebrate diversity.
If this resonates, the Conscious Connection series explores curiosity, judgement, and needs through the lens of Nonviolent Communication — practical tools for bringing more of this quality into everyday conversations and relationships. The free couples relationship exercise is also a good starting point for exploring these patterns with a partner. If communication in your relationships consistently feels more like conflict than connection, relationship counselling is available in Squamish and online across BC.
