relationships + communication

Relationship Counselling (Individuals & Couples)

Couples sessions are in-person in Squamish only

Relationships don’t usually fall apart all at once. It’s more often something that repeats.

The same conversations that don’t quite land. The same reactions that show up again. Moments where you feel close — and then suddenly not.

You might find yourself thinking: Why does this keep happening between us? Or: Why do I keep reacting this way?

If something in your relationship — or in how you show up in relationships — keeps circling back, couples counselling or relationship therapy can help you understand what’s driving it and start to shift it.

when the same thing keeps happening

This can show up in different ways.

As a couple, it might look like:

➜ getting pulled into the same conflict, again

➜ feeling misunderstood, even when you’re trying

➜ distance creeping in where there used to be ease

As an individual, it might look like:

➜ noticing patterns across relationships that keep repeating

➜ reacting in ways that don’t feel like you

➜ feeling unsure how to shift something, even when you can see it

Often there’s a sense that something deeper is driving it — but it’s hard to name.

What we actually look at

We’re not just looking at what you argue about — but how it happens.

The tone. The timing. What each of you hears versus what was intended. The moment things shift from connected to distant — and what’s happening just before that.

We slow things down enough to notice what triggers a reaction, how quickly things escalate or shut down, what’s happening in your body in those moments, and the meaning each of you is making about the other — often without realising it.

That’s usually where something starts to make sense.

How I work

We’ll look at patterns between you — and also what each of you brings into those patterns.

That includes how you learned to do relationships growing up — how you connect, ask for things, and handle closeness or distance. How you respond when something feels uncomfortable. The beliefs and stories that get activated in certain moments. And how you hold your own needs while staying in relationship with someone else.

I draw from the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and the Bader-Pearson Developmental Model — not as a formula, but as frameworks that help make sense of what’s actually happening between you. The work itself is guided by what’s showing up in the room.

We’ll also build some structure around how you talk about difficult things — so you’re not just reacting in the moment, but have a way to stay in the conversation.

Because conflict isn’t the problem. Avoiding it — or getting overwhelmed by it — is what tends to create distance.

What tends to get in the way

In most relationships, what gets in the way isn’t a lack of caring. It’s the patterns that run underneath — reacting quickly instead of getting curious, fear of losing the other person or losing yourself, difficulty expressing needs without feeling exposed, or getting pulled into familiar roles without quite knowing how you got there.

Sometimes the very qualities that felt like a good fit early on are the ones that start to cause friction later. Not because something went wrong — but because we change, and what we need changes too. These moments can feel scary or distressing, and they’re also invitations to deepen the connection and grow together.

Without understanding the pattern, it can feel personal. Or confusing. Or like something is wrong with the relationship itself.

When usually, it’s just a pattern. And patterns can change.

What begins to shift

As we work this way, people often notice:

➜ less getting pulled into the same arguments

➜ more awareness of what’s happening in the moment — before things escalate

➜ being able to say the hard thing without it turning into a fight

➜ more ability to stay connected, even when there’s tension

Not because conflict disappears — but because you’re no longer stuck in the same cycle with it.

If you’d like a self-paced starting point before booking, the free couples relationship exercise is a good way to begin exploring some of these patterns together. The PREPARE/ENRICH Assessment + Debrief offers a more structured, research-backed look at your relationship strengths and growth areas — a good fit if you’re wanting something more comprehensive before or alongside counselling.

When You’re Ready

If something here resonates, you’re welcome to reach out — whether you’re ready to book or just want to get a sense of whether this might be a good fit.

You can book a session directly, or start with a free 15-minute phone consultation — no commitment required.

I offer:

Couples counselling — in person in Squamish only
Individual counselling for relationship patterns — in person in Squamish and online across British Columbia

This tends to be a good fit for couples navigating disconnection, recurring patterns, or communication difficulties — rather than high conflict or crisis situations. If you’re not sure whether it’s the right fit, just reach out and we can figure that out together.

If you’re approaching a bigger commitment and want to build a strong foundation early on, take a look at the premarital counselling page. Not quite ready for counselling yet? The free couples relationship exercise is a good self-paced first step.