Starting therapy for the first time — or starting with a new therapist — involves a particular kind of not-knowing. You’re not quite sure what’s going to happen, whether you’ll say the right things, or whether it’s going to feel worth it.
That uncertainty is completely normal. And one of the most useful things you can do before your first session is get a clearer sense of what to actually expect — so the logistics don’t get in the way of the work.
This post covers what a first online therapy session typically looks like, how to set yourself up well for it, and what tends to happen in those early appointments.
Before your first session
Booking and paperwork. Most therapists in BC use an online booking system — you’ll typically book your first appointment through a client portal, receive a confirmation email, and be asked to complete some intake paperwork before your session. This usually includes basic contact information, what brings you to therapy, and any relevant health history. It doesn’t need to be exhaustive — just enough to give your therapist some context before you meet.
The video link. Your therapist will send you a link for the video session — usually through a secure platform like Jane App, Zoom, or a similar tool. Most of these platforms don’t require you to download anything — you can join through a browser. It’s worth clicking the link a few minutes early to make sure it works before your session starts.
Your setup. Find a private space where you won’t be interrupted for the length of the session — usually 50 minutes to an hour. Headphones can help with both audio quality and privacy. Have a glass of water nearby. Let anyone in your household know you’re not to be disturbed. These things sound small but they matter — the more settled your environment, the easier it is to settle into the conversation.
What happens in a first session
A first session is usually different from subsequent ones. It’s less about going deep and more about getting to know each other — your therapist getting a sense of you, and you getting a sense of them.
Your therapist will likely ask what’s brought you to therapy, what’s been going on, and what you’re hoping to get from the work. You don’t need to have polished answers to any of this. Most therapists are comfortable with uncertainty and half-formed thoughts — that’s actually closer to what the work involves than a neat summary.
You might also talk about practical things: how often you’ll meet, how the sessions work, confidentiality, and what to do if you need to reach your therapist between appointments.
Some people leave a first session feeling relieved — like something has already shifted just from saying things out loud to someone who is actually listening. Others feel a bit raw, or uncertain, or like they didn’t quite say what they meant to. Both are normal. A first session rarely feels like the work at its best — it’s more like an orientation.
What your therapist is paying attention to
In a first session your therapist is doing a few things simultaneously.
They’re listening to what you’re saying — the content of what brings you in, the history you share, the concerns you name.
But they’re also paying attention to how you’re saying it. What you move toward and what you move away from. Where things get heavier or lighter. What seems to carry the most charge. The quality of contact between you — whether something is landing, whether you seem to feel heard.
A good therapist is also noticing what’s happening between you in the room — or in the screen. That relational quality is often where some of the most useful information lives, and it’s something that develops over time rather than arriving fully formed in a first session.
It’s okay if it takes a few sessions to find your footing
One of the most common things people worry about after a first therapy session is whether they said the right things, or whether the therapist is the right fit, or whether it’s going to help.
The honest answer is that it’s hard to know from one session. The therapeutic relationship takes time to develop. Trust builds gradually. The things that turn out to matter most in your work often aren’t the things you lead with in session one.
What’s worth paying attention to after a first session is less whether everything felt perfect and more whether you felt basically respected and heard — whether the therapist seemed genuinely interested in understanding your experience rather than fitting you into a predetermined framework.
If something felt significantly off — if you felt judged, dismissed, or like the therapist wasn’t really present — that’s worth taking seriously. Fit matters. Not every therapist is the right therapist for every person, and it’s completely appropriate to try someone else if the connection doesn’t feel workable.
A few things worth knowing about online sessions specifically
Technology hiccups happen. Internet connections drop, audio cuts out, screens freeze. If this happens mid-session, most therapists will send a text or email and you can reconnect or switch to phone. It’s not a disaster — just an occasional reality of working online. Having your therapist’s phone number saved before your session is a good habit.
The screen can feel different at first. Some people find video sessions slightly awkward initially — there’s something about looking at a screen rather than a person that takes a little getting used to. This tends to settle quickly. By the second or third session most people stop noticing the format and are simply in the conversation.
You’re allowed to adjust your environment. If the light is wrong, if you need to move to a different room, if you want to wrap a blanket around yourself — do it. Online therapy has the advantage of being in your own space. Use it.
Between sessions. Many therapists encourage clients to notice things between sessions — moments that connect to what you’ve been talking about, things that come up that feel relevant. You don’t need to keep formal notes, but a loose awareness of what’s happening in your inner life between appointments tends to make the sessions more useful.
What online therapy in BC actually looks like in practice
In British Columbia, online therapy is offered by Registered Clinical Counsellors (RCCs) and other registered mental health professionals. Sessions typically run 50 minutes to an hour and happen weekly or biweekly depending on what works for you and what you’re working on.
You can access online therapy from anywhere in BC — whether you’re in Vancouver, the Sea to Sky corridor, the Interior, or a rural community where local options are limited. All you need is a private space and a reliable internet connection.
I offer online counselling across British Columbia for individuals working with anxiety, trauma, and relationship patterns. If you’re not sure whether online therapy is the right fit, or just want to get a sense of how I work before committing to a full session, a free 15-minute phone consultation is a good place to start. Reach out at jill@communicatingwell.com or book directly.
You might also find these useful: is online therapy as effective as in-person therapy?, is online counselling covered by insurance in BC?, and online therapy for anxiety in BC.
