Communication Going Sideways? – Take Two!

Do you ever wish you could rewind a conversation and say something differently to get a better outcome? Changing communication patterns can be quite difficult since our nervous systems can become so primed to react and move into a state of defensiveness based on our reactions to what we hear our partner saying.

In order to start shifting those communication patterns couples require space to experiment. How does your partner want to be communicated with? How do you prefer to be approached? One tool that couples often find useful for experimenting with conversations that are going off the rails is to stop and replay. This technique may seem awkward at first, but if you and your partner can agree to experimenting with it you will likely be surprised with what you learn both about your partner and yourself.

Here is a video by Ellyn Bader and Pete Pearson from the Couples Institute demonstrating this technique: